Dealing with doubt

Honesty time.

I have doubts. I have doubts about myself, about this project, about the future. I have dreams, but each dream is faced with its shadows. There’s also failure. It’s like doubt has this friend that swoops in and feeds the doubts that I already have swirling in my mind that I try to push away. My mind is like a broken record when it comes to things I want to care about, but then again, it is a perfectly functioning “flashback machine” that replays the worst parts of well, everything, at the worst of times.

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed about doubt. It keeps you at a distance. It keeps you standing far away so you can’t see what your missing out on.

We humans have a habit of training ourselves to doubt the right things and trust the wrong things. We doubt ourselves instead of doubting the thought that we aren’t enough, don’t have what it takes, etc. We doubt that God actually will come through with that promise despite the fact that there are a list of promises he has come through on in our lifetime.

But here’s the good news. There’s hope. Your doubts can get quieter and you can be the person you are meant to be. There is an answer.

There’s someone in the Bible you might be able to relate to. I know I can. But I didn’t realize it until recently.

Let me introduce you to someone. His name is Thomas. You may know him as “doubting” Thomas. You can read the passage in the Bible where this is referenced in John 20:24-29. We talk a lot about his doubts, and to be honest, it’s fair. He was pretty much the negative Nancy of the group of disciples. He wouldn’t believe until he saw with his own eyes. Hearing wasn’t enough. He had to see it. Firsthand.

But what happened after he saw? After he felt the scars in Jesus’ hands? When he heard him speak to him and call him by name? Everything changed. In fact in his later life, we see him be the disciple to take the gospel to far east Asia- farther than any other disciples traveled to tell people about Jesus.

Doubts often cause us to run from God. The crazy thing is, God isn’t afraid of our doubts. He shows us the truth and our doubts fade.. He simply asks us to come to him. To trust him. And he will help us with the doubts we have. The doubts about him. About ourselves. About our future.

One of my favorite verses ever is Ephesians 1:11 in the Message translation. It says, “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.” God promises to give us purpose for our lives. We don’t have to live in vain. I’ve found that purpose speaks much louder than doubt. Knowing why often is better than knowing what. Sometimes we don’t need all the answers to get where we are going. Sometimes we just need to change the direction we are looking at.

Do you still have doubts? That’s okay. Just don’t let them stop you from moving forward. Let God have them.

Keep moving closer, and your doubts will get smaller. Replace your doubts with questions. “What does God say about this?” “What if I can?”

Your doubts don’t disqualify you. Keep that head up!